'I'd rather quit': 18-year-old student refuses to swap his piano lesson with another girl to fit her schedule, her mom involves the teacher to pressure the switch

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 28, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Here's a friendly advice if you don't want people to hate you: When you ask someone for a favor and they say 'Sorry, but no', try to accept the refusal and move on, instead of making their lives miserable for not giving you your way.

Take it or leave it.

That is the advice I would give both the mother and the daughter in the story below. The daughter, a 17-year-old student, asked her fellow student for a favor: To switch his piano lesson with hers, because his time slot fits better with her schedule. The other student, however, liked his slot and decided he had no interest in switching it, so he told the girl, 'Sorry, but no,' and thought that would be the end of it.

Safe to say, he was wrong.

Instead of accepting his refusal to do her a favor, the girl told her mom, who decided to involve the piano teacher in an attempt to pressure the student into accepting the swap.

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  • This student now feels like he has to fight for what is rightfully his, only because he refused to grant an entitled girl a favor. But if he is forced to do the switch, he might just quit the lessons altogether…

  • 01
    A woman sitting at a piano playing a song
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to swap my piano lesson time with another girl?

    So I (18 M) have been going to a music school for 11 years now. For 6 years (ever since I switched schools and had to start commuting there) I've had the piano lesson (PL for this post) at the same time - Wednesday 19:00 to 19:45 and before that I've had ensemble class (EC).
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 03
    I had a different teacher for EC before, but for the last 2 years (the old one retired) I go to the EC of the same teacher I have for PL.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 04
    It is important to note that both of those ECs were at the same time - 18:15 to 19:00.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 05
    At the EC there is this one girl (17 F- let's call her Emma) - she also happens to be my classmate, so we have the same timetable at school.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 06
    Our teacher is in my town only on Tuesday and Wednesday and Emma had her PL on Tuesday right after school if she took the bus.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 07
    This year, she suddenly needs to have the PL after EC. I live in the same town where the music school is, but I live at the other end so if I take some shortcuts through fields and forests I can get there in 20 minutes (those shortcuts are unusable in winter tho) so it usually takes around 30 minutes.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 08
    Emma lives in neighboring town and it takes her around an hour to go on foot, but her mother ALWAYS picks her up, so it takes her like 4 minutes by car.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 09
    This year, her brother has some kind of sports class in some other town, so after the EC ends, she has to wait for 20 minutes for her mother to pick her brother up and then her.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 10
    For some reason, both Emma and her mother can't deal with this. She's a stay-at-home mom and has no problem picking her up both of those days so she gets to the music school and back in 10 minutes.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 11
    For me, it takes an hour. Long story short, I refused to switch with her for my own comfort.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 12
    We agreed with our music teacher that I'll have the PL at the same time like always last year and I am not willing to switch with her.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 13
    When her mother found out, she started freaking out and went straight to our teacher. They are friends so suddenly there are 3 people pushing me to switch even though it makes zero sense to me.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 14
    I told her I'd rather quit but the teacher needs me there because I'm basically carrying the EC.
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 15
    A couple of people that are playing a piano
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    So tell me, am I the a_h_le?
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 17
    Big-Bathroom-167 NTA but I would ask your shared teacher why they cannot do EC both days seeing as they are there for PL twice a week. Then you can either swap to the Tuesday and keep the same time - or opposite, Emma can stick to her Tuesdays. I would think some people might find having two days for EC more convenient perhaps? Students which are very keen will take both options and it might even be encouraging for some parents. If teacher is open to the idea, maybe they should ask students what
    via Big-Bathroom-167
  • 18
    OP Significant-Cry-658 she already has 2 EC classes but at the same day and it is divided by age in the second one there are like 14 years old and younger kids. Also the music school isn't that big and she doesn't have time to put more people in - she is basically there since 12:00 till 20:00 teaching both of those days
    via Significant-Cry-658
  • 19
    Ordinary-Audience363 NTA and don't give in. Make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR to your teacher that you WILL QUIT EC if you are coerced into switching. Whether you actually would is another issue but it's leverage. People use leverage tactics when negotiating so you might as well start practicing now. Don't let them guilt trip you, either.
    via Ordinary-Audience363
  • 20
    ScarletNotThatOne NTA. For one thing, it's your time. For another, switching would inconvenience you more than sticking would inconvenience the other person.
    via ScarletNotThatOne
  • 21
    xdaemonisx NTA. She asked if you could switch, and you said that you can't. That should have been the end. If they force the switch, you should definitely follow through on quitting. Don't let them disrespect your time.
    via xdaemonisx
  • 22
    Teekayuhoh NTA. We don't love the times for my son's extracurriculars but that's the name of the game. I don't run that sh, it doesn't run for my son only. This is pure entitlement
    via Teekayuhoh
  • 23
    Think_Storm_8909 Tell them you are your priority and changing the schedule will really cause inconveniences for you, you understand their problems but you don't want to suffer by making someone's life easier and surely they should understand since they are trying to do the same
    via Think_Storm_8909
  • 24
    NTA, sublime_369 Teacher is abusing her role - friendship shouldn't swing her judgement. >I told her I'd rather quit but the teacher needs me there because I'm basically carrying the EC. Good for you. I would do the same. If they force you out make a complaint to the head - ideally this would come from your parent(s).
    via sublime_369
  • 25
    DokCrimson NTA. You need to look out for yourself, just like her Mom is looking out for herself. You had this time, it works best for you, you actually are more important to the class than her.... Nope, you are just being a normal functioning member of society. Her Mom is being an though...
    via DokCrimson
  • 26
    NTA. Malsnano86 It was okay for them to ask (ASSSKKKKKK) that you consider changing your lesson time. It is not convenient for you, and it is totally okay for you to say no. They're being TA in persisting with this. Stand your ground.
    via Malsnano86

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